A Picnic to Remember

Tom was looking forward to the family picnic. The weather was perfect, the sandwiches were packed, and he was keen to introduce his girlfriend to his family. He and Chloe had only started going out a few weeks before but their relationship was going really well and things just felt right.

They had spent weekends exploring the local area, watched lots of films, and spent quiet evenings cooking dinner together at his flat. Tom really liked Chloe and today was an important day – she was finally going to meet his family.

He felt sure the afternoon would be fun but he was a little worried at the same time. He knew Chloe’s family were quiet and calm. But Tom’s family were the complete opposite!

“Right, Chloe, are you ready for this?” Tom asked as they arrived at the park.

Chloe smiled, but she had no idea what to expect. “I think so,” she said, gripping the picnic basket a little tighter. “How crazy can a picnic get?”

“Well,” Tom said with a smile, “when my family is involved, anything can happen.”

Before Chloe could ask what he meant, they walked toward the picnic area. The first thing she noticed was Tom’s grandmother sitting in a folding chair. She wore a huge, bright pink hat and she waved to them enthusiastically.

“Tom! Come over here!” she shouted, making everyone look their way. “I want to meet your girlfriend!”

Tom winced. “This is my grandmother, Margery. She’s… well, erm, she’s interesting.”

Chloe tried not to laugh.

She greeted Margery politely and the old woman looked at her carefully. “You’re much prettier than Tom’s last girlfriend. What was her name again?”

“Grandma!” cried Tom. “Let’s not talk about her, OK?”

Luckily, Chloe just smiled and said, “It’s lovely to meet you.”

Margery held up a large bag of crisps.

“Crisps, dear?” she offered. “They’re the only safe thing to eat at a picnic. Don’t eat the sausages – you might get food poisoning.”

“Thanks,” Chloe said, smiling, although she wasn’t sure if Margery was serious. She took the bag and looked around.

Tom’s family were already preparing things, and his dad was busy lighting the barbecue. He had brown hair that was going a bit grey and he was very tall. He was singing loudly while he worked. Tom’s mum told him to be quiet but he paid no attention to her.

“Sweet Caroline…! Good times never seemed so good!” he sang. He tried to get other family members to join in but they didn’t know the words. So he carried on alone, singing even more loudly.

“Tom, you didn’t tell me your family was so… lively,” Chloe said.

Tom chuckled. “You haven’t seen anything yet!”

As soon as they sat down, the chaos began. Ben, Tom’s younger brother, stood up and waved his arms.

“Who’s ready for some fun?” he shouted. “Everyone, get up!”

He picked up a football and threw it really hard at Tom.

“Catch, mate!” Ben shouted.

Tom hardly managed to grab it before it hit him in the face. “Ben, stop throwing things at me,” he groaned.

“You should be ready,” Ben said.

Chloe watched, a bit overwhelmed. Was this a picnic or a circus?

Tom’s mum, meanwhile, was busy getting out the sandwiches and putting them on the blanket.

“Chloe, I’ve made all your favourites,” she said, handing over a plate of food. “I asked Tom what you liked. I’ve got egg sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches, and, of course, a bit of potato salad. You have to have potato salad at a picnic, don’t you?”

Chloe smiled. “Thanks. This all looks great. I brought some food, too.” And she took it out of the picnic basket and added it to the pile of food on the blanket.

Grandma Margery looked at all the food and, pointing at it, said loudly, “You know, when I was young, we didn’t have all these fancy picnic foods. We had bread and butter, and if we were lucky, a slice of ham!”

“Grandma, you’ve said that at every picnic for the last ten years,” Tom said, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t care,” Margery replied. “It’s the truth. Kids today don’t appreciate the simple things.”

Tom’s mum handed Chloe a sausage. She was a bit nervous to take it after Grandma Margery’s warning about food poisoning but she accepted it and ate it.

Just as she was starting to relax, Tom’s dad shouted, “Right, who wants to play a game of charades?”

Tom groaned. “Dad, we’ve played charades at every picnic for the last ten years.”

“And it’s always fun!” his dad laughed.

He picked up and card, read it silently and started acting out the word “jungle”. He made exaggerated animal noises, ran around and then climbed a tree.

“Dad, you’re not supposed to make any noises in charades!” cried Tom little brother, Ben. But everyone else just laughed.

“Is it ‘monkey’?” Chloe guessed, enjoying the game.

“No, it isn’t,” Tom’s dad answered. “Keep guessing!”

“Fish, fish!” suggested Grandma Margery.

“Fish don’t climb trees, Grandma!” laughed Tom.

A few minutes later, someone guessed correctly and then it was Chloe’s turn. Tom’s mum handed Chloe a card. “You’ll need to act out this word for everyone to guess,” she said cheerfully.

Chloe was starting to feel overwhelmed again, but she didn’t want to be rude. “OK,” she said, reading the card. “I’ll try my best.”

She started to act out the word – “dancing” – in exaggerated moves.

“Is that a chicken?” Ben cried. “It looks like a chicken to me.”

“No,” Chloe said and she kept acting out the word.

“A penguin on ice-skates?” Margery said loudly.

“No!” Chloe said, laughing.

“I know! It’s a baby elephant learning to walk!” Grandma Margery shouted, convinced she was right.

Ben finally told her, “It’s clearly dancing, Grandma. You’re just being silly.”

Tom’s mum stood up. “Alright, let’s stop the guessing game for now. It’s time for the barbecue!”

Tom’s dad began to cook sausages on the grill, but things only got worse. Ben began tossing food at everyone, pretending to be a waiter.

“Who wants sausages?” he shouted, holding up a plate of food. “Sausages for everyone!”

“Ben, don’t throw the food!” Tom’s dad yelled. “It’s going on the floor and you’re spilling people’s drinks! Stop that immediately!”

Ben just chuckled. “I’m just making it fun, Dad.”

Chloe sat in the middle of this chaos, not sure which way to look. Meanwhile, Tom’s grandmother had begun trying to sell “ancient” picnic items to everyone.

“Would you like to buy this old picnic blanket?” she asked Chloe, holding up a very tattered cloth that was torn in several places. “It’s been in the family for generations. You can’t buy blankets like this anymore. No one appreciates quality these days.”

Tom glanced at Chloe’s surprised face and winced. “Grandma,” he said, laughing nervously, “no one wants to buy your old things.”

“I’m just saying,” Margery said, “it’s got history. If you don’t want it, I’ll leave it here for someone else.”

At that moment, Tom’s young cousins arrived and immediately began running around in every direction.

Before long, Chloe noticed that they were secretly filling water balloons.

“Tom!” one of the cousins called. “Look what I’ve got for you!”

Without warning, the child tossed a water balloon right at Tom. It hit him square in the face.

“Hey!” Tom shouted, as everyone burst into laughter. He was annoyed for a second but then he thought, “Oh, I should just join in the fun!”

He grabbed a water balloon from the pile and threw it at Ben, starting a full-on water balloon fight. Everyone joined in, even Tom’s mum, and soon they were all wet but laughing.

Chloe hid behind a tree but Tom found her and threw a balloon at her. She ran towards the pile of balloons, picked one up and threw it at Tom, hitting him on the back. “Argh!” he screamed, completely wet now too.

Margery suddenly stood up. “This is what picnics are all about! Fun and chaos!” she shouted.

Chloe burst into laughter at how crazy it all was. Tom’s family was a lot to handle, but they were full of life and energy. There was never a dull moment.

When the fight ended, and everyone was sitting, wet but happy, Tom’s dad suggested something more relaxed. “Let’s play a game of ‘Name That Tune’,” he said, holding up a speaker.

“Oh, no,” Tom groaned, rolling his eyes. “Not another game!”

But Chloe said enthusiastically, “No, come on! Let’s see who knows the most about music.”

The game started, and it quickly became clear that Tom’s family had very different ideas of what a “classic tune” was. His mum played a song from the ‘80s, his dad played something from the ‘60s, and his younger cousin, Amy, put on a strange mix of rap and heavy metal that gave everyone a headache.

Tom’s dad was the first to guess the correct song, but Margery – of course – didn’t like any of the modern songs. “That’s not music,” she complained. “When I was young, we had real tunes, not this noise!”

Then she stood up, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention, and said, “Listen everyone. I’ll make this a bit harder for you. Who can guess this song?”

Then she started singing “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. Soon, everyone realised that she wasn’t going to stop – she was singing the whole song.

“Mum, you’re only supposed to sing the first line or two,” said Tom’s dad.

But Grandma Margery ignored him. She was enjoying herself and she didn’t have a bad voice.

Tom and Chloe looked at each other and laughed. Soon, everyone was singing with her – even the family dog tried to join in!

The picnic continued, full of jokes, food, and more than a few pranks. The atmosphere was warm and noisy, but the chaos was somehow charming. Chloe had started to relax, realising that this family, with all its crazy behaviour, was just having fun.

After a while, the sun began to set. People started put things away, but Margery wasn’t finished yet. “I’m taking my old blanket home,” she said, gripping the tattered old thing tightly.

Tom laughed. “Grandma, you’re impossible.”

But despite everything – despite the shouting, the pranks and all those games – Chloe felt that she was part of something special. Tom’s family were loud and full of surprises, but they were also warm and kind.

“Well, that was… full-on,” Chloe said, sitting back down on the grass.

Tom smiled. “Welcome to the family picnic tradition.”

“I can see why you were nervous now,” Chloe said, drying her face. “But I have to admit, it was really funny.”

Tom laughed. “You’ll get used to it. Next time, we’ll have to make sure Grandma doesn’t try to sell anything!”

Chloe smiled, realising that, despite the chaos, it had been a picnic to remember.